Why Nothing Ever Gets Done

I’m so so so so so tired. So tired. All the time. I want to stop living, just for a day or two.  But I have to live. I want to. I guess…
… …
… maybe I should go buy some fresh water for the fish tank.
That’s a great idea. You should definitely go.
I should go. God, but I don’t want to.
Don’t call me God. You don’t want me for a god. Just go.
Don’t want to go. And if not God, what should I call you then?
(irritated sigh) I’m you. You’re me. This is stupid. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go.
What’s stupid? I don’t get it. Never mind. I think it’s best if I just make myself get water for the fish. Look at the aquarium, they need more water.
So I should go.
But I don’t want to.
Jesus, here we go again.
Wait, your not God, but I’m Jesus?
What? Now I’m confused. 
Really? Damn. God help us.
Enough with the god stuff.  If you don’t want to go then don’t go. No one is forcing you.
Yeah, but I should go, don’t you think?
(sound of head against wall) You know what I think.
Yeah I know what you think.  I know.  Right? Yeah I’m pretty sure I know what you think.  I should go.
Yep. So?
But I’m so so tired.  Aren’t you tired?
Oh yes, very tired.
You are? So I don’t get it. What’s your angle?
Well, my thinking is, if I can motivate you to go, then we’re golden, because I’m wiped out.
Not bad thinking.  You are a much better motivator than I am.
Thank you…
… …
… so are you going to go?
I don’t think so.  You know, tired and all.
Yeah, I figured.
(long exhale) Sorry, I’ve got nothing left. Go. Don’t go. When you make up your mind, let me know, I’ll be in the Jacuzzi.
We have a Jacuzzi?
(ties running shoes, stretches, trotts away)
Wait a minute, where are you going?  I thought you were tired?  And where’s the Jacuzzi?
(faint answer in the distance)
I can’t hear you. Wait!  I can’t make up my mind without you.
(profound, soul-crushing silence)
I can’t make up my mind. Wait.
(Add darkness and loneliness to the soul-crushing silence)
Wait, please. I’m just hormones and…and possibly something more, I don’t know.  But you are my mind. Come back.
(darkness, silence, loneliness, and now worst of all, indecision)



3 thoughts on “Why Nothing Ever Gets Done

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